Surrendering To the Tides of Life

I’ve spent so much time fighting the tides of life—pushing against it, struggling to contain what simply cannot be tamed. 

For years, I worked diligently to force change on my body, believing it was unlovable as it was.
For years, I hoped and prayed for my mother to become someone she was not.
For years, I repressed my true desires and needs, people-pleasing in the hopes of receiving the love I was so desperately seeking.

All the while, I didn’t realize that the love, happiness, and fulfillment I longed for were never outside of me. They were waiting—patiently, quietly—within my very own sacred heart.

Accepting what was did not feel like an option for me. I was a perfectionist, a high achiever, a manifesting generator in Human Design- speak - when something didn’t fit in the black and white boxes I’d created, you better believe that I worked it from every angle my mind could conceive of in order to get the result I wanted. And in many cases, it worked. 

By the time I was in my late twenties, I’d graduated from UC Berkeley and was about to start at one of the top nursing programs in the country, I was married to my college sweetheart, we had a lovely house in San Francisco, and close friends and family. From the outside, I had it all, and for awhile, I believed so too. Eventually, though, I found it to be hollow. A built on the dreams of your lineage and the expectations of others is just a facade - like a movie set that looks great from afar, but up close, it’s all faux. Innocently, I had used my mind to do as I had been told, ignored the yearning in my heart. And one day, not too far in the future, I found myself in an entirely different life, one that lacked a fancy facade but was overflowing with self-love, because I had finally honored my own dreams and desires. Finally, I accepted myself as I was, and I went with the flow, instead of fighting the surge of the rising tide.

The truth is, life—like the ocean—is ever moving. Ever flowing. Ever rising and falling. When we begin to accept this universal rhythm, we loosen our grip on the reins of life. We create space for the highest and best to rise and meet us. Even when it feels like we are about to drown, like we’ve been given too much, we get to choose: do we struggle incessantly against the water, wasting our energy and becoming weak in the process? Or, do we surrender, allowing ourselves to float on our back, just being present with what is, and holding faith that very soon, we will find ourselves in a new, more aligned place? 

I’ve found that surrendering to what is, consoling myself, and holding trust that a new dawn is breaking creates the opening for what is more aligned to flow in. And in doing so—in turning toward myself with love, curiosity, and compassion—I’ve accessed a deep and unshakable inner peace. Life is no longer about control but, centered in trust. It’s about riding the waves, not floundering against them.

Maybe there’s someone in your life you wish would change. Maybe you find yourself looping in your thoughts, reacting to a situation the same way over and over, and feeling heavy emotions like anger or grief as a result. Please hear this: you are not doing anything wrong. This is how most of us have been taught to operate—from the mind. The analytical mind is a powerful tool, but it cannot resolve emotional or spiritual dissonance. That wisdom lives in the heart.

To access the clarity and guidance of the heart, the mind must be softened. This is where meditation, sound healing, and mindfulness practices come in—they help us quiet the mental noise so the voice of the heart can emerge within the flow of what is. 

If you're ready to stop struggling against the tide and start listening to the quiet wisdom of your heart, I invite you to journey with me 1:1. Together, we’ll calm the mind, open the heart, and reconnect you to the truth that's been patiently waiting within. I welcome you to book a complimentary 30 minute consultation to learn more.